Susan Boyle: now comes the witch hunt

I was going to write about the inevitability of a savage media backlash against the YouTube/Britain’s Got Talent singing sensation Susan Boyle.

But it’s begun already.

You see the process starts slowly but it follows a well-worn formula.  As news outlets get bored with the story but know they have to keep flogging it, they will quickly tire of the insane “a star is born” hyperbole that has enveloped us  now. 

Then the tone will slighty change. At first, there will be “concerned” noises about the impact on this on Ms Boyle.

The next phase will be cautious: perhaps a lengthy chin-tugger from a “weighty” commentator about the questionability of this kind of lowbrow culture.  Maybe a music critic will give a “brutally honest” account of her singing compared to professionals.

After that it’ll get nasty. Perhaps there will a Daily Mail-esque “Is Susan the kind of role model we want?”. Then a lifestyle columnist will, in an attempt to be controversial, get stuck into Susan Boyle  with snide references to the fact she never married. There’ll be a vox pop taking potshots at any financial success she has on the back of her performance. A style “journalist” will have a go at the way she looks.

Then we’ll get into the muck-raking. Hacks will be crawling around looking for scandal: perhaps a never-been-kissed-and-tell (In fact there’s already a comment on YouTube saying: “I know Susan Boyle’s childhood love Patrick Quinn, he is an alcoholic living in Cambridge, I have GENUINE footage of him.” Nice.)

You can bet someone’s checking out the benefits she claimed while looking after her mother. The pubs near her will be staked out in the hope she gets blootered or says something unguarded. The hunt will be on for proof she mimed.

Maybe it’ll get desperate and there’ll be revelations that she once embezzled tent pegs from the Brownies or likes dressing up as Osama bin Laden.

Given its recent form, I fancy the Scottish Sunday Express to come into its own at this stage.

In any case, the process has begun. The Telegraph website has entered “concerned” mode. And, in a taste of things to come, seasons that concern with a wee dig at Susan’s appearance.

With her ghastly frock, wedge of frizzy hair and cowboy-like gait, Susan Boyle surprised us all and has since dipped her toe into the waters of fame.

On your marks…