Sour Alba

Apparently Gordon Brown thinks he’s Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights. The similarities are obvious : Byronic anti-hero driven wild by untamed passion and uncharismatic, prudence-obsessed bureaucat with a penchant for dropping his jaw open like a broken glove box.

Of course, he doesn’t say he is really like Heathcliff. No, even when it comes to literary characters Brown dithers. “Maybe an older Heathcliff, a wiser Heathcliff.”

An older, wiser Heathcliff. Wiser? Has Brown actually read the book? It is precisely because he lacks wisdom that Heathcliff is Heathcliff. A wiser Heathcliff makes as much sense as a more metrosexual James Bond, a more trustworthy Iago or a more laconic Stephen Dedalus.

But maybe Brown is truly like Heathcliff in one way. Perhaps we have misjudged him. Perhaps he is enacting a dark vengeance , the culmination of years of savage plotting after being spurned. Sadly for Labour, it was the party itself that spurned him by keeping out of the top job for so long. Now, he is exacting his revenge, wrecking its chances utterly.

I don’t know who’s tapping at the window but, sadly for Britain, David Cameron is hammering on the door. Given that Picture Of Dorian Thatcher scenario, you can’t blame Brown for retreating into fiction.

According to the Holyrood Magazine website, the Scottish National Party has been given a ticking off by the Scottish Parliament’s Presiding Officer for making announcements to the press before they have been made to MSPs.

“The fundamental point is that we should not be reading in the press what is going to be said in the Chamber, we should read what has been said. I object strongly to detailed pre-announcement of Ministerial Statements which constitutes a discourtesy to this Parliament and, by extension, the people of Scotland.”

While I have sympathy with this I can’t help but think that the brooding Scot in 10 Downing Street might not learn from the party he hates oh so very much.

Gordon Brown’s been having a terrible time of late (as seen by headlines like “Immigration underestimated by 300,000″). Basically, since he chickened out of the General Election his press has been appalling.

Now this suggests one of two things to me:

A) Either, after years of waiting and plotting to become Prime Minister, he isn’t any good at the job.

Or

B) He took rather for granted all the controversial and superficial spinning that that slippery Mr Blair was renowned for. And, having not taken news management seriously, Broon is now learning what happens when a Prime Minister and his team lose their grip on the news cycle.