Sources close to the cacao-based container said it was “deeply concerned” about its standing within British politics if it continued to be associated with the Brown regime. 

This [...]]]> Gordon Brown’s troubled premiership last night suffered another blow with the news that a Chocolate Teapot was distancing itself from the Prime Minister “for the sake of its reputation”.

Sources close to the cacao-based container said it was “deeply concerned” about its standing within British politics if it continued to be associated with the Brown regime. 

This shock defection follows a slew of similar movs by key figures, including:

• One Legged Man at an Arse-kicking Competition
• Inflatable Dartboard
• Spare Prick at a Wedding

Friends of the PM moved to play down the split, saying: “I, uh, I mean the Primer Minister sees this as an opportunity to promote thrusting, new talent such as a Catflap in a Submarine and Fart in a Wind Tunnel.”

The row overshadowed an attempt by Mr Brown to defy his critics by organising a piss-up in a brewery – an event which featured a range of beverages supplied by the Temperance Society.

An earlier attempt to find his own arse with both hands and a map floundered due to a compass error.

Now there is a worthy successor and what a labour of love it [...]]]> One of my favourite web things ever was the version of NWA’s Straight Outta Compton that cut out everything but the swearing. (I used to be a well-spoken young man but then I entered my first newsroom…) That was many years ago. 

Now there is a worthy successor and what a labour of love it is: every nugget of sweartastic goodness from every episode of The Sopranos. And nothing else. Pure, unadulterated Anglo Saxon. Oh, and it’s not very safe for work. Or your mum. Unless, that is, your mum is a heavily tattooed Lithuanian sailor with Tourette’s.

the sopranos, uncensored. from victor solomon on Vimeo.

“I need a chicken korma.” Pure unadulterated genius.