Please accept my apologies for not writing in a while. My agent has advised me to reduce my output in advance of a six-figure book deal, in accordance with the teachings of the Ninjitsu on the Way of the Great Silence Before The Large Cheque.
True, no money has been forthcoming. And, come to think of it, I have never met my agent face-to-face. She has, however, instructed me to wear lady’s underwear and to grab the private parts of any senior member of the order I encounter. I note that Brother Niguri is suspiciously cheerful at the moment. Hmmmmm.
The grabbing, coupled with my lack of earning through assassination “because I am a literary genius” has caused Honoured Master Toro, the dojo’s Finance Director, to start dropping hints about selling my genitals again.
4 Responses to The Way of the Great Silence
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You could probably get a good price for you genitals on ebay right now. I mean especially since you have already done it before. Regenerating penis is getting top dollar.
Air Hair Lair. Lord Golden-Showers Entrepreneur and peer of the realm here. I will put you in touch with my good friend Mr Shaftem-Slyly when he gets out.
Have you thought of self publishing?
You should think yourself lucky that Asmund “Pink Gloves” hasn’t reported you dead yet.
Five months is a long time sans wangba.
Are you hibernating?
I only hope that life and work are only eating huge chunks out of your frivolity online.
The column’s gone, the blogs have been stagnant for months… In short, I’m depressed for you. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy, Stewart.
Meanwhile feel for me; I half-lied in an interview by giving the impression that I was into salesmanship, and now I may be getting a job, in a callcentre, upselling and trying to win customers back for a company I have never heard about in my life and couldn’t care less about. And I f*cking hate in-your-face sales tactics, sales targets and unsolicited phonecalls from companies I deal with trying to upsell to me.
But for the moment they will pay me money. And money is the root of love.
I hope you feel better knowing that there is a plight worse than yours.